My parents are here at the moment and it has been lovely. It’s the first time they’ve met Scott, and it has gone really well. My parents are pretty easygoing so it’s not hard to like them. Especially Dad. He’s charming with a wry send of humour, so most people who meet him kind of gush about how awesome he is.
Last night, my parents also met Scott’s mum and her partner. It was a huge moment for me, because my parents have never met the parent/s of any of my previous significant others. It kind of makes my relationship with Scott even more important, and that is a scary thing, because I want this relationship to work, but sometimes I feel like I’m more invested in all of it than he is and that makes me a little sad.
Perhaps he’s just better at being comfortable in it than me; he’s gotten into a good rhythm or something… I, on the other hand, feel like we should be way more smitten with each other since it’s only been a little over a year.
The thing is, Scott admitted to being a serial monogamist. I mean, before me, he was in a 12-year relationship. He knows the ins and outs of coupledom and domesticity. I don’t. I can’t really blame him for finding his footing faster than me, can I?
Anyway, I’m feeling self conscious and in need of some reassurance that we’re doing ok.
I’m feeling really out of sorts this evening and I have no idea why. I had a great day. I assembled some bookcases that were delivered on Monday, and then rearranged our stuff and now our home looks so nice and less cluttered, and also surprisingly not at all too full considering how small our place actually is.
But since coming back from my yoga class these evening, I’ve just been feeling off. Scott was busy working away at his computer when I walked through the door so he was distracted. When he’s like this and I don’t have his full attention for the first 10 minutes of us reconnecting after being apart all day, I do sometimes feel a little off. Maybe it’s that.
Whatever the cause, I still can’t shake it. Even a super hot shower didn’t do the trick.
I’m curled up in bed now while Scott’s still on the couch.
I just received some samples from my manufacturers in Bali and I am so disappointed.
7 out of 11 pieces are way too big, and 2 are too small. There are only 2 pieces that are correct.
I’m already late as it is, and now I’m going to be even later with my collection. 🙁 I am currently in Perth on a mini vacay, which I chose to do over going to Bali because I thought my manufacturers had this sorted, but now I’m having trouble enjoying my time away because all I can think about is how I wasted my money on this holiday when I could have gone to Bali to handle this. I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling so discouraged that I honestly feel like skipping a winter collection altogether and just taking a very long break until September.
Maybe I just need to make some winter staples to tide me over until spring. My manufacturer got the most beautiful linen coat right, and a lovely shirt dress. I could totally work on those with a few other pieces.
The only problem is I wanted this new collection to be very “OG Seraphim”. I wanted it to be boho, with lots of amazing prints… and now I feel like I’m stuck on using black and grey… which is so Melbourne… but not necessarily where I want the company to go. I want the Melbourne structure mixed with the flowiness of Byron Bay. Is that too much to ask, Universe?
*sigh* I’m going to let myself moan for another day and then it’s back to the drawing board. I need to ovary up and sort this shit out.
So I’ve spent my morning ignoring the weight of the hundred and one errands I have to do today, and have instead been going through this blog reading old comments and trying to find the people who wrote them.
Man, I used to have a great community of online friends. We would write earnest musings about life and love and comment just as earnestly on each other’s entries. I didn’t feel like they were just spectators. I felt like a lot of them were really there, feeling all those feelings with me, and I stupidly didn’t keep in touch. And now they’re all gone. All grown up with these amazing lives – I’m sure.
I hope you are all happy, and the dreams you had when we were young and a lot more free have come true.
With so many other blogs and domains I’ve purchased since pww.net, it’s odd I still keep checking in. I don’t know why I do… it’s as if I’m waiting for someone interesting to leave a comment. Maybe it’s because we go way back and I’m sentimental and a bit of a web-hoarder. Perhaps it’s because Pure White Wave was my first ever internet persona and that’s really important to me. No matter how many other projects I’ve started, this one is under my skin the most.
I love this domain.
Perhaps I should return to it 12 years later, writing nothing more than stories about life as a 35 yr old, because even though I was so much more gung-ho about blogging back then, I was definitely shit at being 100% real.
I was talking to Caz about St Kilda the other day. I asked her to describe what it was like, since I only remember driving through the area.
Caz: It’s a real yuppie area. Filled with weirdos.
Jen: Hmm. Doesn’t sound that great then.
Caz: Not weirdos weirdos. Just weird people.
Jen: Explain weird people.
Caz: You know – they wear weird clothes and listen to weird music and watch weird movies I haven’t heard of.
Jen: What – you mean like arty types?
Caz: Yeah.. Arty farty weirdos.
Jen: But I’m kinda like that.
Caz: Yeah… you’d fit right in.
I still haven’t made up my mind about whether I should be insulted or flattered.
+ + + + +
Bianca took me there last night and I had a whale of a time catching up with her. We went to a little cafe for hot chocolate and affogato and then went off to The Espy to listen to some live music.
Before I dropped her home, we sat in the car and listened to some music.
You know you’re good friends when you sit there in the dark listening to music, not saying a word to each other.
Got to Perth on Monday.
Got diagnosed with a viral infection on Tuesday.
Was sick as a dog on Wednesday.
Got to Melbourne on Thursday. Today.
I was welcomed into this great city by one of the most beautiful sunrises. Magnificent. Brett and I sang along to Jay-Z vs Linkin Park on the way home.
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one // hit me
My room has this great smell. I don’t know what it is… but it’s so comforting. I never noticed it before. This whole house has a great smell.
On a completely different note:
It really bugs me how Gavin DeGraw holds back on his album. He can sing so much better. It makes him sound like a second rate artist. Grrr.
I still resent you for leaving me.
My father can’t sleep with too much noise around him but my mother likes to listen to the radio before going to bed.
My mother can’t sleep if the light is on but my father likes to read for half an hour before going to bed.
You think that after 26 years of marriage, there would be some mutual understanding between them about it, but they still argue and grumble at each other every night.
It’s so cute.
Just watched Alien Vs Predator again – this time with my dad.
Dad: What are all those flying things?
Jen: Uh.. that’s snow, Dad.
Dad: … oh.
We all may have many complaints about the way things are going in our own little worlds, but I thank every volunteer from the bottom of this heart of mine for your help in my broken country.