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An email to Jordan.

Hey Jay Jay! hehehe

Sounds like you’re having a blast over there in Melbourne. You lucky bastard, you. Don’t forget to buy lots of crap that you’re never going to use and a souvenir for yourself that actually has MELBOURNE written on it. You need proof that you actually went. For all you know, I could be in Zimbabwe watching some psycho cheetah attack a poor and helpless gazelle in the African plains, sipping tea and talking with the natives. Did you know that there’s a tribe in Africa whose people have only two toes? They have these weird feet that sort of end in a V shape. Uber weird, I’m telling you.

Anyway, I have some bad news. I have misplaced your lyrics. I would like to say that I’ve been working on them but I haven’t because I’ve been lazy. I could lie to you and tell you that I’ve been hard at work planning this gig of ours, but lying isn’t nice. And you’d probably KNOW that I’m lying because, well, come on… JEN??? WORKING ON TAFE SHIT???? “I don’t think so,” says the world. Jen + tafe work = a bad headache and a stream of blood pouring from Scott’s head. We’re like water and oil, we are. (eerr… I’m talking about tafe work and me.. not Scott and me.)

I’ve gone way off track. Like I said, I’ve misplaced your lyrics because I suck… but it’s ok.. I really need some more input from you or something. If you can sort of get some melodies into your head and onto a tape it would be easier for Rob and I to try to get an idea of what you want.

Ok.. I’m going now. I need to work on my website.
Check it out by the way.. it’s a brand spanking new one – http://ua.net

Take care!!

~J.

By Jen

You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head.

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