Mourning – Tantric

Is there something that you are trying to say
Don’t hold back now
It’s been a long time since I felt this way
So don’t hold back now

I purposely forgot about
Loving anyone
Cause I’m the only one who has
Who has been stepped upon

Is there something that you are trying to say
Cause I can take it
Cause I grew up a man this way
And if I’m hurt I’ll shake it

I’ll crawl back into my cave
That’s how I’ll make it
Cause out of all this hurt we have
Beauty thus become
Beauty thus become

In the mourning I can see the sights
No wonder I could never keep you satisfied
In the mourning I can see inside
Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide

Wishing all the best for you
And now I will say goodbye
Cause all the shit that we’ve been through
Put wisdom in my eyes

So walk away, don’t turn around
Cause I won’t be standing here
Cause all the lies that I’ve been living through
Are becoming very clear
And beauty thus become

In the mourning I can see the sights
No wonder I could never keep you satisfied
In the mourning I can see inside
Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide

Then you conned me into thinking
That all I had was you
The small insinuations
Were cutting me through
Cutting me through

And now I stand alone here
Stronger than before
And I’ll never go back
Never go back
Never go

Getting a little better…

Well, for some strange reason, my journal login site wasn’t working.. so I had to wait ALL day in hopes that it would be fixed by the time I went online again. And yay! It’s fixed! So I’m over it now.

I was very very depressed after I got back from Oriel last night. I came online.. and the person mentioned in my previous entry was online. Said person left about 5 minutes after I logged on… which upset me quite a bit… 🙁

I spent the whole night tossing and turning, completely miserable… and my throat was torturing me like crazy. I ended up jumping out of bed at around 3am to come back online again!

But, being online reminded me of said person and I promptly logged out and tried to sleep. I had almost run out of lozenges, so I went downstairs and made a hot cup of tea, and curled up in my chaise. I slept very well, for about 2 hours, until it got very hot, and I had to crawl into bed and turn the fan on. I slept in until I was woken up by an sms from Tweedy at 11:45am, asking me for Les’ mobile number. grrrr…

I felt a lot better today.. It was a very quiet day in, which was great. I didn’t talk for very long online, and opted to just curling up in bed and staying under the covers for a while. It was nice 🙂

The Melbourne comedy festival held this comedy gala to raise money for Oxfam. They had all these famous Australian stand-up comedians; it was great. Will Anderson, a radio celebrity over here, was hosting it.. and I have to tell you… I had never seen him before.. and he… is… gorgeous… he can quaffle me anytime.

Just got back from Oriel not more than 10 minutes ago. Les dropped by, and I was in need of a freezoccino.. so we went back…

Anyway, I leave you now with one word: Bleh

I’m doing fine…

Last night was absolutely awful.

I can’t elaborate too much, because I don’t know who is reading this diary, but basically, someone that I had offered my trust to betrayed me. *sigh* I’m fine now, but I was a wreck last night.

Oh well. That’s ok.. c’est la vie. Such is life, eh?

To top it all off, I have the most awful sore throat imaginable… I could feel it starting last night, but didn’t think it would be this bad. Blah. I need some cheering up. Thank GOD Les is coming over later. We’re going to oriel to get some coffee. I am in dire need of some caffeine.

On a better note, I went for a run today. Nothing too strenuous though. My cough was getting worse, and it was cold and windy outside. I also cleaned my room which was in need of a tidy up! But it’s nice and clean now! I wish my stupid digital camera was working so I could show you!

Mum’s and Mel’s last day…

Well, like the title says, it’s mum’s and mel’s last day here. They leave tomorrow at around 11am. 🙁 I’m really sad to see them go. It’s tough being the only one over here, when everyone else is in Jakarta.

My mother and I didn’t get along the first few days she was here. AT ALL. We fought and fought… and then, on Good Friday, we had a huge shouting contest in the car on the way to church! Poor Mel was sitting in the back probably feeling VERY uncomfortable, while I was driving and Mum was in the passenger seat. I got so fed up with it all I dropped Mum and Mel at church and drove off. Ouch.

But things are good now. I think my mum knows that I was right about some of the things that I said during the fight and she respects me a lot more now.

We’re going to Carousel later. I haven’t been there for ages! It’s funny because I’m a mall freak – well, I am in Jakarta – but here, I really don’t go that often.. not to browse around anyway…

I’m so sad to see them go 🙁 As much as I like it here on my own, it does get lonely, even with the friends here.

Almost done!

Ok ok…

Friday 5
1. If you could eat dinner with and “get to know” one famous person (living or dead), who would you choose? John Mayer…

2. Has the death of a famous person ever had an effect on you? Who was it and how did you feel? Princess Diana… I didn’t cry… but, it did feel like someone had just winded me…

3. If you could BE a famous person for 24 hours, who would you choose? John Mayer, because he’s well known, but not TOO famous to the point where he has to wear a disguise to walk out his house.

4. Do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? Who? Nope.. I’m an individual, I am!

5. Have you ever met anyone famous? Yes. Princess Diana, that’s why it had such an effect on me… and Alanis Morissette. I’m, friend with a few famous Indonesian people too.