RIP Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes

by TLC

A lonely mother gazing out of her window
Staring at a son that she just can’t touch
If at any time he’s in a jam
She’ll be by his side
But he doesn’t realize he hurts her so much
But all the praying just ain’t helping
At all ’cause he can’t seem to keep
His self out of trouble
So he goes out and he makes his money
The best way he knows how
Another body laying cold in the gutter
Listen to me

Don’t go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that
You’re used to
I know that you’re gonna have it your way
Or nothing at all
But I think you’re moving too fast

Little precious has a natural obsession
For temptation but he just can’t see
She gives him loving that his body can’t handle
But all he can say is baby it’s good to me
One day he goes and takes a glimpse
In the mirror
But he doesn’t recognize his own face
His health is fading and he doesn’t know why
3 letters took him to his final resting place
Y’all don’t hear me


I seen a rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come and gone
Leavin’ a trace of not one God-given ray
Is it because my life is ten shades of grey
I pray all ten fade away
Seldom praise Him for the sunny days

And like His promise is true
Only my faith can undo
The many chances I blew
To bring my life to anew
Clear blue and unconditional skies
Have dried the tears from my eyes
No more lonely cries
My only bleedin’ hope
Is for the folk who can’t cope
Wit such an endurin’ pain
That it keeps ’em in the pourin’ rain
Who’s to blame
For tootin’ caine in your own vein
What a shame
You shoot and aim for someone else’s brain
You claim the insane
And name this day and time
For fallin’ prey to crime
I say the system got you victim to your own mind

Dreams are hopeless aspirations
In hopes of comin’ true
Believe in yourself
The rest is up to me and you

Catching Up.

Nothing much has been happening these last few days. So here’s a few of the highlights that I can think of:

§ On Wednesday a took Vanina to get her tongue pierced at Steel Candy. Such a brave girl… lol. She even got a discount because I took her there!

§ I’ve been practicing with the band a few times a week. We have a gig coming up and we’re SO not ready. So much more practice needed! aargh!

§ On Sunday night, Ruth had her birthday bash at the OBH. It’s this bar that all the country folk go to. It wasn’t bad actually. There were so many people from highschool there and it was great catching up with them all again. After the bar, we were supposed to meet at Club Bayview but we rocked up early, and it was completely empty. So Les, Sandy and I went to Oriels instead.

§ My dog, Jaxon, died yesterday morning in Indonesia. 🙁 We don’t know what he died of, but he’s always been a weak dog. *sigh* So sad…


I’m feeling very alone right now…

No one’s online, no one’s around.. I don’t know whether it’s a good thing.. or a bad thing.

The past 10 days have been… ‘uncalled for’ is the only phrase I can think of. A lot of shit happened that I didn’t need.

I’m still unsure about how I’m feeling right now. I can’t make my mind up. Am I happy or sad? I hate feeling indifferent.


Well, I got my labret pierced yesterday. I was really nervous, and it frickin’ hurt like hell… but it’s ok now. It just feels a little uncomfortable, and I’m definitely not used to it yet.

Hmm.. besides that, nothing much has happened. I went to see Sandy for the first time in WEEKS right after i got the labret done… she was always telling me NOT to get it, but she was actually rather impressed with it. So yay.

Now, all I have to do, is tell my ‘rents.

Les dragged me to this get together at an old school friend’s house. Shyeah right… get together.. now THAT was an understatement. 5 people watching ‘Stepmom’. I didn’t even hang out with the other 3 people when we were in school!

We left early, making a stupid excuse about having another thing with a different friend… we came back to my place and cooked fried rice! lol…

Mourning – Tantric

Is there something that you are trying to say
Don’t hold back now
It’s been a long time since I felt this way
So don’t hold back now

I purposely forgot about
Loving anyone
Cause I’m the only one who has
Who has been stepped upon

Is there something that you are trying to say
Cause I can take it
Cause I grew up a man this way
And if I’m hurt I’ll shake it

I’ll crawl back into my cave
That’s how I’ll make it
Cause out of all this hurt we have
Beauty thus become
Beauty thus become

In the mourning I can see the sights
No wonder I could never keep you satisfied
In the mourning I can see inside
Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide

Wishing all the best for you
And now I will say goodbye
Cause all the shit that we’ve been through
Put wisdom in my eyes

So walk away, don’t turn around
Cause I won’t be standing here
Cause all the lies that I’ve been living through
Are becoming very clear
And beauty thus become

In the mourning I can see the sights
No wonder I could never keep you satisfied
In the mourning I can see inside
Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide

Then you conned me into thinking
That all I had was you
The small insinuations
Were cutting me through
Cutting me through

And now I stand alone here
Stronger than before
And I’ll never go back
Never go back
Never go

Getting a little better…

Well, for some strange reason, my journal login site wasn’t working.. so I had to wait ALL day in hopes that it would be fixed by the time I went online again. And yay! It’s fixed! So I’m over it now.

I was very very depressed after I got back from Oriel last night. I came online.. and the person mentioned in my previous entry was online. Said person left about 5 minutes after I logged on… which upset me quite a bit… 🙁

I spent the whole night tossing and turning, completely miserable… and my throat was torturing me like crazy. I ended up jumping out of bed at around 3am to come back online again!

But, being online reminded me of said person and I promptly logged out and tried to sleep. I had almost run out of lozenges, so I went downstairs and made a hot cup of tea, and curled up in my chaise. I slept very well, for about 2 hours, until it got very hot, and I had to crawl into bed and turn the fan on. I slept in until I was woken up by an sms from Tweedy at 11:45am, asking me for Les’ mobile number. grrrr…

I felt a lot better today.. It was a very quiet day in, which was great. I didn’t talk for very long online, and opted to just curling up in bed and staying under the covers for a while. It was nice 🙂

The Melbourne comedy festival held this comedy gala to raise money for Oxfam. They had all these famous Australian stand-up comedians; it was great. Will Anderson, a radio celebrity over here, was hosting it.. and I have to tell you… I had never seen him before.. and he… is… gorgeous… he can quaffle me anytime.

Just got back from Oriel not more than 10 minutes ago. Les dropped by, and I was in need of a freezoccino.. so we went back…

Anyway, I leave you now with one word: Bleh

I’m doing fine…

Last night was absolutely awful.

I can’t elaborate too much, because I don’t know who is reading this diary, but basically, someone that I had offered my trust to betrayed me. *sigh* I’m fine now, but I was a wreck last night.

Oh well. That’s ok.. c’est la vie. Such is life, eh?

To top it all off, I have the most awful sore throat imaginable… I could feel it starting last night, but didn’t think it would be this bad. Blah. I need some cheering up. Thank GOD Les is coming over later. We’re going to oriel to get some coffee. I am in dire need of some caffeine.

On a better note, I went for a run today. Nothing too strenuous though. My cough was getting worse, and it was cold and windy outside. I also cleaned my room which was in need of a tidy up! But it’s nice and clean now! I wish my stupid digital camera was working so I could show you!

Almost done!

Ok ok…

Friday 5
1. If you could eat dinner with and “get to know” one famous person (living or dead), who would you choose? John Mayer…

2. Has the death of a famous person ever had an effect on you? Who was it and how did you feel? Princess Diana… I didn’t cry… but, it did feel like someone had just winded me…

3. If you could BE a famous person for 24 hours, who would you choose? John Mayer, because he’s well known, but not TOO famous to the point where he has to wear a disguise to walk out his house.

4. Do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? Who? Nope.. I’m an individual, I am!

5. Have you ever met anyone famous? Yes. Princess Diana, that’s why it had such an effect on me… and Alanis Morissette. I’m, friend with a few famous Indonesian people too.