purewhitewave.net

Ok. Check out this site and scroll down to Commercial Radio Stations. Now tell me – what do you see under Western Australia? That’s right. NOT A DAMN THING.

Look, dudes.. I know that we’re on the other side of the country here but we are still in AUSTRALIA. Yeah.. so we’re the most isolated city in the world. We’re still a city with at least THREE commercial radio stations for fook’s sake. So get your damn act together and include us. I’ve got no problem with you excluding Tasmania. They may be close to you but they’re on a whole different island. At least WE don’t have any fucking ocean standing in between us. Just a vast, arid, lifeless desert.

Bloody hell.

I just got home from watching Love Actually. And, as beautiful as the film was, the only thing I felt while walking out of the cinema was {emptiness}.

Perhaps I should just become a hermit and lock myself in my house… never coming out for any reason other than an emergency of some sort. Perhaps I should just build a wall around my heart that will keep people away. I’ll turn into an old woman who sits in a rocking chair all day and strums her guitar. For no one. Sometimes I wish I could push people out. I wish that I didn’t feel emotions so strongly. I seem to feel them more than any of my friends. I wish I could just feel nothing for people that I meet. Feeling nothing is better than feeling pain, wouldn’t you think?

My friends are all here in Perth and on Tuesday morning, I will be flying back to Indonesia. And in Indonesia, I have no one but my family. No friends. Only people that I talk to occasionally. I put myself on autopilot when I’m back there. “Nice to see you again.” “I’m doing very well, thanks.” “Have a good day.” And then the cycle repeats itself and so I continue the day on autopilot until the day turns into a week, which turns into a month, which turns into 6 months… and then a year goes by and I still feel alone and nothing has really changed. I’m just older, and more lonely and still very much empty.

I am tired of living a half-life – pretending that I’m ok. I’m not ok.

Rob popped into my PM again:

Rob: i dont supppose you’d be willing to pose w/a snake?
Author: it would be an extra grand.
Rob: $450
Author: no. 1000
Rob: $600
Author: no. 1000
Rob: it’s non venomous you know….
Rob: $700-final offer
Author: no. 1000
Rob: dont you understand “final offer”?
Author: don’t you understand “no. 1000”?
Rob: if you handle business like you negotiate no wonder you’re single. lmao
Rob: nvm
Rob: scratch that
Rob: if you handle relationships the way you negotiate….blah blah blah
Author: idiot.

Les, Ambs and I went to Fremantle the other day. We went to the market and got our palms read. I don’t really believe in fortune telling of any kind but I do find it interesting to hear some of the answers that people give.

The first thing the palm reader said when she looked at my hand was that I worry WAY too much. I worry about EVERYTHING and that, if I don’t stop, I will eventually worry myself sick. There were things in my childhood that caused all of this anxiety but I don’t need to be worried anymore because all of the really bad things have already passed.

She then said that I had a real affinity to water, and that I always tend to go and drown my sorrows by swimming, taking a bath or just having a shower. I apparently need a water feature in my room that will help me relax.

Oh, she also said that I will have 2 marriages – the first one ending because of infidelity. Oooh.. scandal! Ha ha. For some strange reason.. I have that it’ll be me that will do it. Quite scary actually. She didn’t talk about kids though. Perhaps I won’t have any?

She told me that I’m lacking zinc and calcium. I need to be more careful with the amount of soda drinks I consume. Meh… I love my orange Fanta.

All in all, it was very cool.

As I was about to bathe last night, I was disgusted to find a spider dangling right in the middle of my shower. And, as flattered as I was for the warm welcome home, I was still rather shitted to see him invading my personal space. Of course, there was no insect spray nearby, so I opted for my deoderant instead. It didn’t kill the little bastard – just stunned him into oblivion.. I thought it was best to leave him alone for the night and just go to sleep. Give him a few more hours to live. If he was still in there by the next morning, I wouldn’t be so merciful and would probably go and search for the RAID which is much more lethal than my ‘Fa – Mambo Sunset’ spray. Oh well. If he were to die… at least he’d smell nice.

Last night I had a fight with a friend of mine – a person who has been a significant part of my life for about 6 months or so. No, it wasn’t really a fight – it was basically me telling him what I didn’t like about him. Something I think he needed to hear since there was always this one thing that he didn’t like about me.. something so petty.. that prevented us from being together. And even though I resent him so fucking much for it, I can’t seem to get him out of my head.

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Lastly, and most importantly of all, Tina called me up today to tell me that my great aunt passed away this afternoon.

“I pray that she found you through the darkness – that she has finally found her home.”

Rest In Peace.
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Well, I’m still at the hotel. We go home tomorrow. I am REALLY looking forward to it. On the other hand, I have been reminded of the sweetness that is Broadband internet. Oh, how I love thee, Broadband.

I’m watching some movie on HBO about the Civil War and the first black regiment that fought in the frontlines. Civil War. Men standing only 50 – 100 yards away from each other shooting muskets that had to be reloaded after each pull of the trigger. They literally saw the fear in the opposition’s eyes. What do we do these days? We fly overhead and bomb each other. We march behind tanks that bulldoze the enemy out of the way. We have all this technology that does all the dirty work for us. All they had were muskets and knives. Basically hand to hand combat. To me, THAT is bravery.

Now, don’t get me wrong… I think that anyone who wants to fight for their country deserves a medal but there is so much more to protect soldiers than before. And I wonder whether most of the soldiers actually look into the eyes of the men they slay… and see the fear and pain.

Yeah yeah… this is supposed to be a Friday Five but what the hell.. I’m bored so I don’t care what you guys think.. mehehehe.

1. List five things you’d like to accomplish by the end of the year.
i) To have written at least one more song.
ii) To have lost a bit of weight.
iii) To get it into Mel’s head that she’s not a princess and to get her to grow the hell up.
iv) To have this same layout up because I really love it right now 🙂
v) To have gone to Perth to visit my friends 🙁

2. List five people you’ve lost contact with that you’d like to hear from again.
i) Kate Power from BIS
ii) Adrian Walker from Brisbane
iii) Louise Beverage from BIS
iv) Lisa Burr from BIS
v) Lucy Tighe from BIS

3. List five things you’d like to learn how to do.
i) Make mosaics
ii) Learn the sound recording process
iii) Learn how to play all the chords on the guitar
iv) Fly a helicopter or a plane
v) Learn how to become rich

4. List five things you’d do if you won the lottery (no limit).
i) Give a bunch of it to my favourite charities
ii) Buy some land and build a house in the style of the Balinese houses that I absolutely adore with my own little recording studio
iii) Throw a party that would make Elton John jealous
iv) Give a bunch to my family, especially my aunts and uncles that aren’t very well-to-do
v) Make an album on which I collaborate with people like John Mayer, Jars of Clay, Stevie Wonder, Sting and Maroon 5

5. List five things you do that help you relax.
i) Play guitar
ii) Listen to music
iii) Watch movies
iv) Having a really really hot bath
v) Curl up in bed for hours and hours and hours while reading or just napping.

Well, my family and I will be staying at a hotel during the holiday week so I thought I’d just write a quick little message. I’m hoping that the hotel’s business centre will be cheap.. if it is, I’ll write an entry while I’m over there!

Happy Lebaran to all those people celebrating. Have a great day!

Hope you guys like the new layout.

Today is the finals for the Rugby World Cup. Australia VS England. Oh boy. What fun… Apparently The Shangri-La Hotel is having this Rugby special starting at 3pm until late. Ugh… Just imagine: a bunch of smelly loud men shouting “AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!” while being completely shitfaced. Meh.. the English lads won’t be any better. I tell you… I would NOT like to be staying at the Shangri-La tonight!

My sister Melissa has suddenly become very very patriotic since the World Cup has been playing on the team. I have been the complete opposite. I’ve been cheering for whatever other team is playing. My favourite rugby team has got to be the All Blacks from NZ… although I can’t say I’ve ever watched a whole game yet. So I was rather annoyed to find out that Australia had thrashed them.

Melissa came down the stairs today with the Australian flag painted on her face. The most adorable thing about it was the fact that because she had painted it on herself, and was using a mirror, it’s back to front! lmao. She is so fucking adorable, that girl. I let her paint the Union Jack on my face.

The match has now been playing for about 35 mins and I am upstairs on the computer because, honestly, I really don’t care who wins… but I’m kinda secretly hoping England do – mostly just to piss off my family.

I’ll probably watch the last 5 minutes of it or so. Hehe.

I am getting very bad at writing in here. I’m talking to 4 people online while trying to write, and I’m failing rather miserably. I used to be good at this. Maybe turning 22 has made me slow. LoL.

So yes. Things have been rather quiet since my birthday. I went to Singapore for medical reasons… to see some specialists and all that… and while I was there I met up with an old friend again which was lovely 🙂

Singapore is a great little city but staying there for 5 days was just too much for me. 3 days would really suffice. By the 4th day of shopping, you end up buying all this shit just for the sake of buying shit. It’s terrible. I spent a disgusting amount of money on the last 2 days I was there just because I didn’t want to stay in the hotel room. And I don’t usually like going out somewhere without coming back with something… so… I.. just spent a shit-load of money on practically nothing, mostly.

We FINALLY finished recording ‘Beautiful’. Thank God. It took all day to get my vocals right and by the end of it my voice was pretty shot to hell. But at least it’s done. Only one more song to go!

I finally have my guitar after weeks without it… and the nails on my left hand are short again 🙁 It’s rather annoying – one of the reasons why I can never get Franch manicures and all that. Damn short nails. I wish there were some bloody way I could keep my long nails while still being able to play.

I’ve made a new layout and I’m still deciding whether or not I should post it up in the next couple of days.. or now… or whether I should wait until the end of the month. I haven’t really used this one for very long though, have I?

I was in the mood to write even though I really can’t think of anything that is worth writing. Sorry to all of those who checked out the site I plugged yesterday. It opened up in the damn frame so you couldn’t see it properly! Lol. Oh well…

I’m talking to some friends online right now: Natasha and Carissa. 🙂 Natasha just had a baby. Unebelievable. I saw a pic of him and I cried… what a miracle.

Yesterday, I went in to record some vocals… but I didn’t end up doing too much because my voice just wasn’t strong enough – my being sick and all. So I had to just do backing vocals and come back once I’m feeling better. The song is sounding GREAT though. All the boys need to do now is record the cello and the rest of my vocals.. and then we’re good to go. I shall have to upload a snippet of it on here once we’re done 🙂

Ok ok.. enough crap.

So, yesterday I went to hand over some CDs to Leny. Little did I know that I was going to be meeting up with some image consultants. Leny had decided that I should meet them so they could get to know me and see where I should be placed in the market. They asked me what kind of music I was into, what kind of clothes I wear during performances, what my favourite colors are, how I want to come across… all that 🙂 It was very interesting! I told them a bit about myself… and they were so excited to work with me that it just became really great talking to them.

Don’t you just love talking to people who are excited about your craft as YOU ARE?

Anyway, they are writing up a proposal to show me how they can help me… I’m really excited 🙂