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No Such Thing

Groove FM is playing John Mayer’s No Such Thing, which is a bit of a surprise considering that Groove FM are an R&B + Dance station. A good surprise.

Good on you, Groove FM!

I was watching Conan O’Brien last night and one of his guests was this old woman.. in her 60’s, I’d say… who has a show on the Oxygen Network in the US that is all about sex toys and masturbation and stuff. She brought all these different vibrators onto the show and was passing them around to Tom Selleck and some WWF wrestler dude who were sitting next to her, giggling away. Anyway, she took out this great big strap-on dildo and said, “Now, this… THIS is called ‘The Accommodator’.” She then proceeded to put it on but this was no ordinary trap-on dildo – NAY – this was a strap-on dildo that strapped on to your chin.

Now, just imagine this for a minute – a cute little old woman with a dildo strapped to her chin.

Conan didn’t look too pleased. Tom Selleck did though.

Here’s the weird thing though. Why is it that a fake penis can be shown on network television.. but a real penis can’t? Maybe it’s the balls. Men, cut off your balls so I can see more dicks on tv. Oh wait. All I have to do is flip to CNN and I’m saturated with dicks. Bush, Hussein, Blair. Blair’s a nice looking dick though.

By Jen

You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head.

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