Choices.

I find it really scary to think that a single choice can change your life.

My mother has something like 12 brothers and sisters. Out of all of them, she is the wealthiest because she married my dad. A little choice like saying yes to a blind date led to my mother marrying my father and then having 4 daughters.

We weren’t always wealthy. When I was younger, before Melissa was born.. I remember how hard things were for us. Then, after Mel was born, my father was promoted and we found ourselves living very comfortably. But even when we didn’t have much money, we always had so much more than my mother’s brothers and sisters.

I always wonder whether my aunts and uncles are jealous of her. My mother never flaunts her wealth to them, don’t get me wrong. Far from it. She has helped all of them in some way. She is paying for many of my cousins’ school tuitions but I wonder whether that makes her brothers and sisters slightly bitter… that they have to resort to letting someone else pay for their child’s education. We have so much more than them and I’m so uncomfortable when they come over to our house because I feel guilty for what I have, even though I know I shouldn’t.

I’m glad that I have them though because my mother’s humble background has made me more aware of the importance of being humble.

I hope no one thinks I’m boasting.. because that’s not the purpose of this entry. I just find it so interesting to see how our choices make such a difference in our lives. I chose to drop out of college and now, I’m a lecturer at one. I chose to take up guitar, and now there’s nothing else I want to do. In the same token, I chose to quit the piano and now I regret it because I can hardly play anymore.